Stop Blaming

"Every Hour an Acre of Louisiana sinks into the sea. Who is to blame?" That is the headline of a NY Times Magazine article. A young black man is shot and killed. Who is to blame, the young black man for being menacing or the shooter? People from poor families stay on welfare for generations, are they to blame or is it something else? A partner cheats, who is to blame, the one who cheated or the other partner who is verbally abusive and emotionally unavailable?


Blaming seems a knee jerk reaction when anything goes wrong. Sometimes it seems as if we spend more time blaming than on looking forward together to remediate or resolve the problem we are trying to blame on someone. By blaming we can relieve our frustration. We can avoid the complex realities of life and get back to the illusion of certainty and simplicity.

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