"Productive insight; clear (often sudden) understanding of a complex situation." Free Dictionary
Pop the bubble of conditioned thinking and emerge into the creative realm of "no absolutes," continuous change, uncertainty and unlimited possibilities.
Then, there can be innovation, adaptation and optimal performance.
Performance & Open-minded Mindfulness:
Open-minded: questioning everything, accepting diversity and uncertainty.
Mindful: consciously aware; concentrated.
Foundation for blending process, project, engagement and knowledge management into a cohesive approach to optimize performance.
This Newsletter
Our aim is to stimulate the kind of thinking, dialogue and understanding that leads to optimal performance.
Last month's issue ended with the following questions:
How do we motivate ourselves and others in the face of trouble and problems?
How do we get inspired to get through the situation and succeed?
How do we find the courage to admit that success is not possible and cut our losses?
The answers are all about stepping back, changing the frame of reference and being realistic and optimistic.
Stepping back means to pause and think before acting. At least for a moment detach from your emotions and situation, become an objective witness. Open your mind to all possibilities.
Frames are mental models we use to filter information. If your frame is based on beliefs like "if my work or relationship is a failure, then I am a failure and therefore worthless and incapable", then that sets you up for denial, depression and inaction. If on the other hand you work from the idea that "failure is something that happens in the course of life and provides an incredible learning opportunity" you are much more likely to realistically accept what is happening in the present and respond effectively.
Being realistic means to see things as they are without filtering them or trying to make believe that everything is OK when in fact it is not. It also means to accept the fact that everything is subject to change and uncertainty and that some things cannot be accomplished in the time available even though you really want them to be.
With this as a base let's look at some options for managing in the face of failure.
Avoid Reactive Behavior
Reactive behavior is founded on emotion and conditioned habits and beliefs rather than the needs of the current situation. Reactive behavior can take any form, from just giving up to holding on too long and with more or less overt emotionality.
Clearly, reactivity is not an effective way to address problems. Yet, how often do we find ourselves reacting in the face of a project that is behind schedule, over budget and riddled with unproductive conflict, or in a relationship in which troubling issues are emerging, or in an organization that is falling apart, or in a situation where your latest attempt at self improvement has ended in a falling back into old, dysfunctional behavior?
Take a Step Back
Well then, what can you do to avoid reactive behavior and make a positive difference?
Take the step back - get perspective on the situation. Disengage from the situation so that you can see it objectively. Stop to take a breath (or ten) and keep from making things worse by doing what seems to be natural but is often counterproductive. As my friend Tara says, "Just calm down."
Disengaging doesn't mean becoming numb to the situation, it means seeing things clearly while not identifying with the situation. It means feeling deeply and honestly while not being driven to unskillful behavior by your feelings and the desire to either get rid of them as quickly as possible or, if they are pleasant, to keep them forever.
What does it mean to not identify with the situation? It means to see the situation as an object to face and work with as opposed to seeing it as a part of yourself that proves how awful you are. You are not the situation; you are not the cause (though your past actions may have been). Disengaging lets you see the big picture in the most objective way possible.
Acknowledge and Assess
Acknowledge and accept the situation as it is. Unless there is acknowledgement and acceptance there is not much that can be done. Denial (making believe there is nothing wrong) is the alternative, and it is all too common. Review the current state and how it came into being.
Remember that everything, including troubled projects, relationships, organizations, and your own behaviors have causes and that knowing the causes helps to eliminate their effects. If you are to turn things around take a strong stance and assess. Do it carefully to avoid blaming but to also home in on the real causes. Find the right balance between analysis paralysis and reactivity.
Among the most important assessments is the assessment of expectations. Are they realistic? Are objectives achievable? Is your perfect relationship possible to find? Can you eliminate your bad habits and imperfections in a month or even a year or two of meditation and yoga practice?
Plan
Planning comes next. It defines realistic objectives and what to do to accomplish them.
Plan so you can get a realistic sense of what the possibilities are. Can you meet the original expectations? Is it time to pull the plug on the project or relationship and cut your losses? What is the path forward, the risks and the requirements for success?
Planning enables you to determine the right next steps and enliven you and your team or partner. You get the sense that positive change is beginning. You know that continuing in the same way you have been working; only doing it faster or more intensively is likely to lead to a horrible ending with more suffering on the way.
Change the Challenge
Change the challenge from getting the project done within the original time and budget to turning the project into a success and learning from the experience. Change the search for the perfect mate to an effort to make the relationship into a forum for you and your partner's psychological and spiritual growth, even if you don't stay together. Change the expectation of quick enlightenment to a commitment to clearing away the mental models, habits and other hindrances that obscure your clarity.
Be realistic; remember that sometimes a canceled project or an ended relationship is better than one that continues on with no hope of success. Remember that when you commit to a process of letting go of attachment to unrealistic expectations you can accomplish the most important goals - self-discovery and self-perfection.
In the end, rather than running away from or ignoring failure, embrace it as a challenge and transform the energy it brings up in the form of fear, anger, shame and the like into clarity and the energy to move forward in the most effective way.
